I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she looked like the before picture.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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