There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
