You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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