is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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