They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize