We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
