I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
