I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
