haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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