Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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