is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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