we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
