I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You need Xanax blowdarts
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize