About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
