he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
