Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
