Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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