Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
