It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
