You're completely useless in the revolution.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
