FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
