Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im holly from the hills drunk
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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