Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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