I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
