that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
