I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
