This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
