We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
