um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
