@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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