Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This house was built for laser tag.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize