im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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