My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize