I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
