So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
