3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize