Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
