just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
