I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
