I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
