Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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