Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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