I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You took a bar mat shot.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize