i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
