I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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