I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
