Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize