I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we're making bets on your personal life
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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