just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
