Don't EVER smell your tampon
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
