I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
