How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize