if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
