On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
