But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
