I need help removing her.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
