it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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