Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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