i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
