On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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