...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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