I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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