Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
