I molested 6 butterflies tonight
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
