I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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