Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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