After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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