even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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