I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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