8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
