Where is the hickey?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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