my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
