i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Terrible idea I love it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
