So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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