good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
